tradition and our culture

I am from Chirumanzu and I speak Karanga. I am proud of who I am and where I come from. After almost eight years in Harare, I still speak Chikaranga. I have friends and colleagues who laugh at the way I speak but this is inherently who I am. It is not necessarily a bad thing but only a reflection of lack of understanding. This is the same way we have been treating aspects of our culture and tradition.

With colonialism came urbanisation and with urbanisation came the fracturing of the very fabric of our society. Some went to towns never to return to the rural homesteads. They adopted a different kind of culture and brought forth a different breed of children. But these same people when they got married wanted to get married the traditional way. When the women got pregnant, they observed traditional rites for pregnant women. When babies were born, they wanted them welcomed into the world the traditional way. When they got sick, they consulted the traditional healers as well as the doctors. After a few generations some traditional practises lost meaning and relevance. They are performed because it is expected but there is no understanding of the purpose of the said rituals. Some even shun traditional ceremonies because they associate them with evil.

What I find annoying is the way we have trivialised our own culture. Some of us associate traditional practises with devil worship and satanic rituals. These same people point out the evils of our culture as if modernity itself is devoid of evil. Traditional practises like the killing of twins and albinos lost relevance and died off by themselves. This was because they did not benefit anyone other than the champions of the said practises and saw a way of keeping people in subjection. Modernity itself is fraught with evil; prostitution, abandoned babies, promiscuity and greed. There has been no concerted effort to curb these evils.

I urge those people who demonise our culture to understand it first before they make a decision to say bad things about it.

peace,

fadz

What your mother never told you

So up to now my experiences in life have mostly been accidents, mistakes and everything in between. Each time when i think that I cannot be surprised anymore, some fresh little horror (or not) smacks me right between my eyes and I am surprised all over again. Mothers instead of telling and showing you what life is really like, spend most of their time shielding you. They never tell you what to expect and you spend your life making new discoveries everyday, and here are some of the things your mother never told you.

1. Life is insane
The pressures of life will eventually get you down if you are not strong. You will eat and drink yourself into an early grave to deal with those pressures. You will become a victim of other people who see every opportunity to exploit you. If you feel inadequate you will become a slave of prophets (false and real). If your mother mollycoddled you, you are up the creek without a paddle!

2. You cannot always have your own way
So to get my own way I always threw a tantrum and I eventually got my way. Mother to shut me up always let me have my way. But life is not always so giving. You can not throw a tantrum and get away with it; you might end up in a mental hospital if people feel a bit cruel! And not everyone feels inclined to listen to your whining. And no amount of stamping your feet or thrashing in the sand will make them feel otherwise.


3. People are not trustworthy
When I grew up I had a rude awakening; I discovered that people are not always trustworthy. If you do not want anything repeated to anyone else, better not say anything to anyone at all. A secret is only kept by one person. A secret shared is a public secret and you just might get into fist fights and verbal lashings because of it. So treat everyone with a large dose of distrust because you do not know what they do once they have left you. And in - laws do not really like you you know, they always take care of their own. If you tell them your problems your are just giving them fodder to laugh about you. They rejoice in your misery.


4. There are other people much cleverer than you
There was a time when my grandmother thought I was a bright spark and talked about me with pride and joy. I felt I was the cleverest person on earth. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I was not the only one who was clever and that there were other cleverer people! The shock of disappointment can put a strong man to bed with chills. So get a grip don't expect to be the centre of the universe all the time.


5. You are all alone
I never could understand why my mother said I should have plenty of kids because they are my real relatives. Mothers never tell you that life is a lonely affair, you come out alone and go out alone after encounters with other lone people. Funny how the natural laws always surprise you. As a child you rely on your parents and as you grow older, you rely on your children but never your other relatives (well most of the time). It's a vertical affair. And in this insane world this is a scary affair.

6. How to survive marriage
Marriage is hard enough with it not being demystified. You are just told you have to be strong and fight for you relationship. You have to be like a soldier. They never tell you that you have to fight constant battles of wills not just with you partner but with everyone around and the exercise is tiring.


7. Puberty
Puberty was a surprise for most people my generation. If you did not hear your cheeky friends talking about it, then it was a shameful embarrassing secret that scarred you for life. This might explain all those body issues you still have. I am sure there are still some of us who do not know how their bodies work and are not even sure what is normal and what is not. There are some who still believe you cannot get pregnant the first time!

8. High school is never over!
So you think that since you have completed your A' levels the pains and pressures of high school are over. Wrong. Think again. High school is never over. The bullies follow you to the workplace and everywhere else in life. The dull, insensitive and gossip mongers follow you everywhere. And they have more experience. However you survived high school, you are going to keep honing those survival skills

9. Keeping secrets
Secrets have a way of ruining lives and dreams. Keeping them is even harder. you are told that it is unseemly to tell other people your secrets, that you should deal with them on your own or pray (no one ever admits that it is really difficult to pray on your own when you feel that you are being swamped). Dealing on your own is responsible for all the deaths attributed to hypertension, and stroke. There are family secrets which are only known by the elders; you are told you should not associate with certain relatives but are never told why. Always remember there are family secrets that you might not be privy to.


Life is full of surprises if you are not equipped for it, so make sure that those you are responsible for are not caught unawares like we were.

peace,

fadz