Women are totally demented? Sometimes but there is a logic to the madness.
A man cheats, fornicates, abuses the woman and children, lacks appreciation, take the woman for granted or gamble but a woman in most cases does not leave. If a woman cheats, the man will promptly give her her marching orders. There are some men who will leave or kick out a woman for being boring (after 20 years of marriage).
What makes it impossible for Zimbabwean woman to leave unhealthy unfulfilled relationships?
The answer lies in the way our culture has constantly sought to bring a woman down. Until recently most families chose to send only the boy children to school. It was believed that sending a girl to school would only enrich the family which she was going to be married into. Never mind that the same said family would take pains to take care of them should their daughter be a satisfactory wife.
When my father (a very progressive man) send me for A' Level the village was in an uproar. Everyone thought my father was acting in the most stupid manner possible. Some predicted I would get pregnant by the end of my fifth year. Sadly everyone was disappointed.
It is that kind of mentality which has seen women become dependent and lack financial independence to stand on their own. With too little or no education it has become impossible for women to get well paying jobs. As a result women do not leave their unsatisfactory partners because they are afraid of failing to take care of themselves and their children. Some know that with what they earn they will not be able to maintain the lifestyle that they are used to.
There is also a stigma that is attached to women who do not have partners. All married women view them as a threat. Single mothers also become the target of lechers and all sorts because all men think they are easy and begging for it. The failure that is synonymous with dissolution of a marriage follows a woman everywhere and some women would rather deal with an abusive husband than face the loaded looks and condescending smiles that society gives them. Mostly from other women.
So it becomes easier to just grin and bear through the heartache.
It is sad that women are objectified because they were not equipped with the necessary skills to survive in the jungle that our lives have become.
So make a difference; send a girl (even one who is not related to you) to school and make a difference in her life.
peace,
fadz.
A man cheats, fornicates, abuses the woman and children, lacks appreciation, take the woman for granted or gamble but a woman in most cases does not leave. If a woman cheats, the man will promptly give her her marching orders. There are some men who will leave or kick out a woman for being boring (after 20 years of marriage).
What makes it impossible for Zimbabwean woman to leave unhealthy unfulfilled relationships?
The answer lies in the way our culture has constantly sought to bring a woman down. Until recently most families chose to send only the boy children to school. It was believed that sending a girl to school would only enrich the family which she was going to be married into. Never mind that the same said family would take pains to take care of them should their daughter be a satisfactory wife.
When my father (a very progressive man) send me for A' Level the village was in an uproar. Everyone thought my father was acting in the most stupid manner possible. Some predicted I would get pregnant by the end of my fifth year. Sadly everyone was disappointed.
It is that kind of mentality which has seen women become dependent and lack financial independence to stand on their own. With too little or no education it has become impossible for women to get well paying jobs. As a result women do not leave their unsatisfactory partners because they are afraid of failing to take care of themselves and their children. Some know that with what they earn they will not be able to maintain the lifestyle that they are used to.
There is also a stigma that is attached to women who do not have partners. All married women view them as a threat. Single mothers also become the target of lechers and all sorts because all men think they are easy and begging for it. The failure that is synonymous with dissolution of a marriage follows a woman everywhere and some women would rather deal with an abusive husband than face the loaded looks and condescending smiles that society gives them. Mostly from other women.
So it becomes easier to just grin and bear through the heartache.
It is sad that women are objectified because they were not equipped with the necessary skills to survive in the jungle that our lives have become.
So make a difference; send a girl (even one who is not related to you) to school and make a difference in her life.
peace,
fadz.
it's only today fadz when i visited a friend.another lady dropped in to say hi.she looked so frustrated.why??because her man believes she should only stay home.she was told to quit her job,she can't travel in a combi.she is now keeping chickens but unfortunately she can't go out to market them.she gets everything she wants provided she stays at home.the husband calls from work 3 times a day to check if she's home.a car was bought for her.So in such cases can she leave this marriage?we will all laugh at her saying 'how could she leave such a marriage?' because we don't know what transpires inside that big green gate.if it were me ,really i wouldn't know what to do.TO LEAVE OR NOT TO that is the question!!
ReplyDeleteIn that case the marriage becomes more of a prison than a union of people in love. why doesn't she leave? It is quite clear that she is not happy!
ReplyDelete