Thursday, 3 November 2011

when we cheat

A couple of years ago a friend (whom we shall call Yvonne) got pregnant by a man (Lovemore) she did not want to get married to for a number of reasons, the topmost being that he had no potential of becoming a good provider. Another friend (Tesla) advised her that she could tell one of her on/off/ on again boyfriends who had lots of money that they were responsible. I found it morally reprehensible and told Yvonne as much. Yvonne did not listen and ended up marrying Gift (one of the moneyed boyfriends). Two years into her marriage to Gift, Yvonne started seeing Lovemore on the sly.

It has become normal for men and women to cheat on their partners. There are some people who actually think it is quite normal and the in thing to fornicate left right and centre. Whilst some people find it disgusting to have more than one sexual/emotional partners, the human being is programmed to love over and over again. Which is the reason why it is easy for us to move on when we lose or are ditched by our loved ones. Which is why some of us are capable of being in love with more than one person at the same time. There is nothing wrong right?

Right.

It becomes wrong when other people in the relationship do not know that there are other players in the play. When we get into relationships, we have expectations. If one knows that the person they are 'dating' is also seeing other people when they are not with one, then one can make plans accordingly. If one is into a group thing or a polygamous set up; it would be beneficial for their partner to be aware of the fact. Once one is aware of the situation, it is highly likely there won't be fists flying and lots of tears on the encounter of a partner with one of their bit on the side.

People frown on open relationships but they are the healthiest when we get to the basics. If you know what your partner is doing and with whom, the fear and uncertainty that pervades most relationships is removed. It is when people lie and try to hurt each other that you end up with blood and stains on the floor.

If full disclosure is difficult and there is a pressing need to lie, then you might be in the wrong relationship. When you find yourself sneaking into the bathroom or sitting in your car in the dark to answer a call, the possibility is you want to have your cake and eat it too. In the end you end up with just too much drama. So when you decide to cheat, think if it is worth it. Incidentally, Yvonne and Gift are divorcing.


peace,

fadz

No comments:

Post a Comment