Depending on the type of family you grew up in, sharing your personal space might be a big problem which might lead to a breakdown in relationships and communication. It might seem insensitive to suggest that like people should get hitched but at the end of the day it is the differences that break us.
I am the first of six children born of a teacher and a nurse so our home life was very middle - class. Our mother was not too keen to let us play with kids from next door because apparently there enough of us in the house to play with. The six of us were in each other's faces for most of the day that there was no privacy at all. I remember that to get any chance to read (we are all voracious readers - encouraged by both parents) one had to get into the toilet and sit for possibly an hour or so and read and read. The toilet also became the refuge for those who wanted to shirk their chores. It became such a haven in the chaos that was our home that it was eventually named the 'refugee camp'.
Watching television and listening to the radio was a nightmare. We could never agree on what to watch. The person who got the remote control first controlled what everyone watched for the rest of the day. And if you got the remote you had to be very careful that you never put it down for even a second as you could relinquish your privileges just like that. If you needed a bathroom break you had to take it with you. The remote came to symbolise power.
The music was slightly better as we were brought up on a staple of Thin Lizzy, Bad Company etc and anything anyone who got to the radio first decided on was tolerable. But there was a period when the youngest tortured us with Thin Lizzy everyday for weeks. And the time he wanted to watch The Lion King all day long. I forgot to mention that being the youngest meant you had all privileges. You just had to cry and mother would tell everyone to let you have your way.
I swore as I grew up that I was going to get me a big house, no kids and have plenty of time to listen to what I want. Don't get me wrong; I do not dislike my siblings or the way i grew up. Quite the contrary really. I am who I am today because of my past. I discovered that personal space is really overrated and I cannot do without a lot of people in my house.
But people who grew up in small families are really anal about personal space and find it difficult, nay impossible to share space. They really get hectic about stuff which belongs to them and most of the time get upset over what some of us think are petty issues.
Did you know that if you have two children or less, your house can stay spic and span the whole day long? The children stay clean all day long? You don't have to clean up after them because, wonder of wonders, they clean up after themselves? My house used to be a model home when I had 2 kids. When I got the third I lost my energy and they overpowered me. Most of the time for about 3 times a day the house looks like a tornado passed through it. This is mostly around mealtimes. I cannot take my kids visiting to other people's homes unless they also have kids. I do not want to sour relationships because i am inconsiderate and think just because someone has a kid they can tolerate my horde.
There are people who visit with their children who wet their beds or have a predilection towards lighting fires. Now in our culture you can just turn up at a relative or friend's home with your kids for an unspecified period and all will be well. We do not think of how this visit will affect the residents of the house. Never mind the fact that they have not proofed their homes of bed wetters and little arsonists. If you complain, you are a bad host. If you do not say anything, you become a prisoner in your own home. It becomes a no - win situation.
Be considerate and inform your intended hosts that you are going to visit. I do not mind visitors but I mind not being informed of the visit beforehand, throws everything off kilter and messes my plans.
The sharing of personal space should be something you need to consider when you choose a partner because it will determine how long your relationship will last. Can you stay with someone who wants everything just so and their shoes marching in a certain order? Will they mind if say my sister visits and hogs the bathroom for hours on end? I take a book into the bathroom almost all the time whatever business I am doing, will this make my partner go crazy? You take my books from me and I just might go mad. And I know once you go mad there is no coming back.
Be considerate and do not compromise as something will give eventually.
peace,
fadz
I am the first of six children born of a teacher and a nurse so our home life was very middle - class. Our mother was not too keen to let us play with kids from next door because apparently there enough of us in the house to play with. The six of us were in each other's faces for most of the day that there was no privacy at all. I remember that to get any chance to read (we are all voracious readers - encouraged by both parents) one had to get into the toilet and sit for possibly an hour or so and read and read. The toilet also became the refuge for those who wanted to shirk their chores. It became such a haven in the chaos that was our home that it was eventually named the 'refugee camp'.
Watching television and listening to the radio was a nightmare. We could never agree on what to watch. The person who got the remote control first controlled what everyone watched for the rest of the day. And if you got the remote you had to be very careful that you never put it down for even a second as you could relinquish your privileges just like that. If you needed a bathroom break you had to take it with you. The remote came to symbolise power.
The music was slightly better as we were brought up on a staple of Thin Lizzy, Bad Company etc and anything anyone who got to the radio first decided on was tolerable. But there was a period when the youngest tortured us with Thin Lizzy everyday for weeks. And the time he wanted to watch The Lion King all day long. I forgot to mention that being the youngest meant you had all privileges. You just had to cry and mother would tell everyone to let you have your way.
I swore as I grew up that I was going to get me a big house, no kids and have plenty of time to listen to what I want. Don't get me wrong; I do not dislike my siblings or the way i grew up. Quite the contrary really. I am who I am today because of my past. I discovered that personal space is really overrated and I cannot do without a lot of people in my house.
But people who grew up in small families are really anal about personal space and find it difficult, nay impossible to share space. They really get hectic about stuff which belongs to them and most of the time get upset over what some of us think are petty issues.
Did you know that if you have two children or less, your house can stay spic and span the whole day long? The children stay clean all day long? You don't have to clean up after them because, wonder of wonders, they clean up after themselves? My house used to be a model home when I had 2 kids. When I got the third I lost my energy and they overpowered me. Most of the time for about 3 times a day the house looks like a tornado passed through it. This is mostly around mealtimes. I cannot take my kids visiting to other people's homes unless they also have kids. I do not want to sour relationships because i am inconsiderate and think just because someone has a kid they can tolerate my horde.
There are people who visit with their children who wet their beds or have a predilection towards lighting fires. Now in our culture you can just turn up at a relative or friend's home with your kids for an unspecified period and all will be well. We do not think of how this visit will affect the residents of the house. Never mind the fact that they have not proofed their homes of bed wetters and little arsonists. If you complain, you are a bad host. If you do not say anything, you become a prisoner in your own home. It becomes a no - win situation.
Be considerate and inform your intended hosts that you are going to visit. I do not mind visitors but I mind not being informed of the visit beforehand, throws everything off kilter and messes my plans.
The sharing of personal space should be something you need to consider when you choose a partner because it will determine how long your relationship will last. Can you stay with someone who wants everything just so and their shoes marching in a certain order? Will they mind if say my sister visits and hogs the bathroom for hours on end? I take a book into the bathroom almost all the time whatever business I am doing, will this make my partner go crazy? You take my books from me and I just might go mad. And I know once you go mad there is no coming back.
Be considerate and do not compromise as something will give eventually.
peace,
fadz
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